Honeysuckle Days

Urgent Blogger Tip 9 ....... You will need this for Picture Perfect on Blogger;)

Post a link in  a  Comments Box
I just discovered you cant drop a page link in a comment box on blogger like we do here. I did and it does not work!
I have created a work around that will let you drop a link and it works perfectly LOL;P
It is fairly simple. This is the code you drop into the comment box:
 
<a href="URL">Title</a>

Replace the URL with the URL of the site you are linking to and replace the Title with the title of the site.
Easy as pie. Now get out there and comment!!!
Example:  In my case it goes like this: <a href="http://oceankinguk2003.blogspot.co.uk/p/picture-perfect.html">Picture Perfect</a>

OK Lets have a lighter MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A man's translations

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...



"IT'S A GUY THING"



Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."



"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"



Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"



"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"



Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.



"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"



Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."



"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."



Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."



"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."



Translated:* "Are you still talking?"



"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."



Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car

I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."



"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."



Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."



"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."



Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."



"I CAN'T FIND IT."



Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."



"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"



Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"



"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."



Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."



"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."



Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."

Woman's translations

The wife says: You want

The wife means: You want



The wife says: We need

The wife means: I want



The wife says: It's your decision

The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious



The wife says: Do what you want

The wife means: You'll pay for this later



The wife says: We need to talk

The wife means: I need to complain



The wife says: Sure... go ahead

The wife means: I don't want you to



The wife says: I'n not upset

The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron



The wife says: You're ... so manly

The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot



The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights

The wife means: I have flabby thighs.



The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient

The wife means: I want a new house.



The wife says: I want new curtains.

The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!



The wife says: I need wedding shoes.

The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.



The wife says: Hang the picture there

The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!



The wife says: I heard a noise

The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.



The wife says: Do you love me?

The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.



The wife says: How much do you love me?

The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.



The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.

The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.



The wife says: Am I fat?

The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.



The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.

The wife means: Just agree with me.



The wife says: Are you listening to me?

The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]



The wife says: Yes

The wife means: No



The wife says: No

The wife means: No



The wife says: Maybe

The wife means: No



The wife says: I'm sorry

The wife means: You'll be sorry



The wife says: Do you like this recipe?

The wife means: You better get used to it



The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish

The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place.



The wife says: Was that the baby?

The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him



The wife says: I'm not yelling!

The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!



In answer to the question "What's wrong?"



The wife says: The same old thing.

The wife means: Nothing.



The wife says: Nothing.

The wife means: Everything.



The wife says: Nothing, really.

The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.



The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.

The wife means: I'm still building up steam.

Woman's instructions

THE WOMAN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK



Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.



Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.



Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.



What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.



So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.



If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.



Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.





Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be left out alone.



Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.



Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.



Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.



The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.



If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I'll stay the night".



Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.



Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.



If he asks you if you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.



When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."

A woman's dictionary

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.



Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.



Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."



Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.



Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.



Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.



Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.



Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.



Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.



Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.



Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."



Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.



Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."



Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!



Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.



Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."



Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.



Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card

And Finally something for the guys





A Blonde Chick with a Nice Pussy

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The Big Scary!

One of the world's strangest fish returns each summer to British waters. But in spite of its size, it is shrouded in mystery.

Essentially an industrial-sized mouth with fins, the basking shark isn't one of nature's most attractive creatures. It would take an army of PR gurus some serious brainstorming to develop a way of presenting this cousin of the great white as anything approaching beautiful.

But the basking shark has its own special appeal. For a start, it's big - the second largest fish in the sea (after the whale shark), and by far the largest fish in the North Atlantic. It can weigh more than an African elephant. But a major part of its appeal is that it is one of the least understood large animals on Earth.

Widely distributed in cool temperate waters worldwide, it is a rather uncommon animal except in a few key areas. The western seaboards of Britain and Ireland are particular hotspots. Basking sharks move into our coastal waters in spring and summer, and then disappear for the entire winter. We've no idea where they come from or, for that matter, where they go. But, following a giant fish some 10m long isn't as simple as it sounds.

1,500 teeth that don't bite

The shark's diamond-shaped gaping mouth looked more like the open cargo doors of a military aircraft than the oral cavity of a fish.

Although they have more teeth (around 1,500) than most other sharks, they don't use them for feeding at all. Basking sharks cruise slowly at about two knots with their mouths wide open, capturing tiny planktonic creatures in thousands of filters called gill rakers as the water passes through the gill slits.

The giant feeding-machine passed within a couple of metres of where I floated. Briefly, we made eye contact. Its prehistoric stare was mesmerising, but it was impossible to say if it was inquisitive or uninterested. Shafts of sunlight dappled its greyish-brown flanks. It must have been seven or eight metres long and glided with a smooth, graceful movement that belied its size. All too soon it disappeared into the murk.

A winter's tale

High-tech gadgetry is needed to find out where the sharks overwinter. A collaborative three-year project is using sophisticated Pop-up Archival Transmitting (PAT) tags attached to the sharks' dorsal fins. Programmed to pop up to the surface at intervals of 3, 6, 9 or 12 months and then to beam their location and other critical information to an orbiting satellite. Ten sharks were successfully tagged in UK waters last year and there are plans to tag another 10 this year. Perhaps we are on the verge of solving one of the world's great wildlife mysteries.

The basking shark was given its name by fishermen and other seafarers. They noticed its lethargic movements near the surface and assumed that it must have been sunbathing.

There are reports of individuals reaching 15.2m. The maximum confirmed size is 12.2m, and the most common size range is 3-9m. They possess a high, erect and angular first dorsal fin (up to 2m tall).

They give birth to live young. Gestation is presumed to be 2-3 years, and they produce 2-6 pups (150-170cm long - the largest size at birth of any known shark).

The skin is covered with small denticles, or scales, pointing backwards. Rub your hand down towards the tail and it feels relatively smooth to touch, but rub it the other way and it feels more like sandpaper. It's unique among sharks in being coated with a thick, foul-smelling mucous, though the function of this is unknown - yet another basking-shark mystery.

Its diet is principally small plankton, but includes fish eggs and crustacean larvae, possibly small schooling fish.

Experts estimate that a single basking shark can filter enough seawater to fill a 50m Olympic swimming pool every hour.

The basking shark is distributed through cool temperate waters worldwide; occurs very close to land (even in enclosed bays), but also sometimes offshore; it is noteworthy for its seasonal appearance in known localities and subsequent disappearance. 

Britain is home to one of the largest concentrations of basking sharks anywhere in the world. They can be seen almost anywhere along the west coast and dedicated trips to watch or snorkel with them take place in Cornwall and from the Isle of Man.

Local lore has it that baskers first appear in the waters around the Lizard Peninsula on 10 April, but their precise arrival time seems to depend on the water temperature of the previous winter (any time from mid-April if the previous winter was warm or mid-May if it was cold). They typically arrive in the Porthkerris area first and then move west towards Penzance. They are often very close to shore, and many people snorkel and kayak with them from the various beaches, but they can occur at least 15km offshore, and local dive operators run trips to see them throughout the season. They are usually present until August (though less common at this time).

Basking sharks can also be seen from shore around the Isle of Man, and they occasionally enter harbours along the west coast of the island but are best viewed from a boat. The Basking Shark Society operates daily tours throughout the summer (full-day, half-day or evening, depending on demand) and tour participants are encouraged to join in with the collection and recording of research data. The best time is from mid-May to September, when the sharks are present in force and the weather is at its best.

 
One of the few things we do know about basking sharks is that they are slow to reproduce. They have a long gestation period (estimated to be between one and three years), probably give birth to no more than half a dozen pups every two to four years and then take as long as 12-20 years to reach maturity.

This low reproductive rate (and therefore low recovery rate) is a major reason why the basking shark is listed as 'endangered' in the North-east Atlantic (and globally 'vulnerable').

The fishing threat

With its large size, slow swimming speed and tendency to feed at the surface, it is highly susceptible to hunting. More than 100,000 have been killed in the northeast Atlantic alone in the past 50 years. Originally they were killed for their meat and for the oil in their jumbo-sized livers (which may account for up to 25 per cent of the total body weight and are probably used in buoyancy control). But now they are being killed for their fins. Demand for shark-fin soup in parts of Asia has increased dramatically since the mid-1980s, and there is now an insatiable market for shark fins of almost any size or type. A large basking shark can yield up to 30kg dry weight of fin worth many thousands of pounds.

Over the years, there have been basking-shark fisheries in many parts of the world, including the Canadian Pacific, California, Ecuador, Peru, Japan, China, Iceland, Norway, France, Spain, Britain and Ireland. It is difficult to generalise, but most basking-shark fisheries have taken hundreds or, typically, about 1,000 individuals every year for a few years before collapsing.

In recent years, the Norwegian fleet has been landing the majority of basking sharks in the North-east Atlantic. Catches have fluctuated widely and declined dramatically after the mid-1970s, with no organised hunt at all in the past four years.

Gaining protection

In the UK, the basking shark has been protected within the 20km limit since April 1998, under Schedule 5 of the 1981 Wildlife and Countryside Act. It is also a priority species under the UK Biodiversity Action Plan. Fishing for basking sharks in European waters can be regulated by the European Commission under the Common Fisheries Policy, and catch limits (based on little or no information about stock size or geographical range) are still set for the Norwegian hunt.

Major progress was made in April 2000 at the CITES (Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species) conference in Kenya. The British Government put forward a proposal for the basking shark to be listed under Appendix II and, though this would not have banned hunting, it would have forced countries trading in basking-shark parts to keep proper records - essential for monitoring the level of threat. Unfortunately, under CITES rules, a two-thirds majority must vote in favour of a proposal for it to pass, and this particular proposal was three votes short.